I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize