I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize