Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Everyone says I win the strip club
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
