why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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