I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
