Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
