He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
