I cannot find my penis.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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