do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
