your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
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