The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
