wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize