My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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