Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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