My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
