these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
that is very illegal...i love you.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
