wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
