This girl is more easily done than said...
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
