hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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