Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
