He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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