I have demons in me.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
