am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
