I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
how drunk are you?
Several
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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