So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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