i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
She has the best kind of daddy issues
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
