Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize