Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
