i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
