My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
