somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
