either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
