his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
