I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
