i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
