dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
