I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
