yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize