drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
she looked like the before picture.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
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