In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Randomize
