It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
