She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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