i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
