Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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