Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
