I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
