She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
