I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize