i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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