Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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