No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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