yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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