friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
