If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
