When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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