Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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