mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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