Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize