everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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